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Post by Darth Fingon on Oct 1, 2008 22:49:23 GMT -6
You should do that. I don't think I have read either of those. I found them on LiveJournal. Post edited to include links. |
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Post by oshun on Oct 1, 2008 23:01:10 GMT -6
You should do that. I don't think I have read either of those. I found them on LiveJournal. Post edited to include links. I had definitely read "Beautiful but Gross." Good story, but so gross, no wonder I forgot! (So many good lines--smell like celery.) But I hadn't ever seen "Ada is a Black Lobster"--I loved it. |
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Post by pandemonium on Oct 3, 2008 12:01:09 GMT -6
You should do that. I don't think I have read either of those. I found them on LiveJournal. Post edited to include links. Those are solidly hootworthy especially Ada is a Black Lobster. That phrase is surreally funny, but the pink sash sent me over the edge. |
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Post by Gandalfs apprentice on Oct 3, 2008 18:46:19 GMT -6
Cheesh, I was so curious as to how you would pull off "Ada is a black lobster" in context.
Still rolling on the floor.
Re: "The Tall." My point is this: those canatics who want to take all this literally are missing the point. By light years. Tolkien is writing in a literary genre that expects exaggeration: legend. It is not compatible with modernist realism. Which is precisely WHY all those "canon perfect" stories are so dull.
My favorite peeve on that is: if Elendil was eight feet tall, then how long was Narsil to be his sword? And reforged? Aragorn, according to Tolkien, was "at least" six feet six inches. Way too short to wield Elendil's sword--which was forged by a dwarf. I guess Telchar forged a sword as long as he was tall.
On another subject: how many horses did they kill in all those endless journeys? Just impossible to ride without stopping or changing mounts.
If you follow it literally, this is the stuff of parody, folks.
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Post by oshun on Oct 3, 2008 20:27:44 GMT -6
Of course, you are right. It is amazing which things that canatics will complain about and the ones they will ignore. Both Pandemonium and noticed lately that a certain writer who posts on HASA has taken to writing the occasional Silm fic. Interestingly so, her slavish devotion to tediously accurate LotR canon stories does not extend to Silmarillion canon where she doesn't bother to get the barest outline of the facts right (like who lived when and where).
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Post by Darth Fingon on Oct 4, 2008 0:42:24 GMT -6
Both Pandemonium and noticed lately that a certain writer who posts on HASA has taken to writing the occasional Silm fic. Interestingly so, her slavish devotion to tediously accurate LotR canon stories does not extend to Silmarillion canon where she doesn't bother to get the barest outline of the facts right (like who lived when and where). Pandemonium introduced me to some of this individual's more... uh... canonically creative works today. In which very simple facts were wrong. Stuff that could've been corrected by googling the character and reading the goddamn Wikipedia entry. These are the mistakes that bother me: when people can't even be arsed to look up something so simple as what year So-and-so was born in, when that character's age is mentioned in the story. |
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Post by pandemonium on Oct 4, 2008 17:13:45 GMT -6
I honestly don't mind canon-bending, canon-twisting and canon-violation. I'd be terribly hypocritical to tsk-tsk such approaches given my own deviations. However, I prefer to see such canon variance applied with some thought behind it. But it's the lack of thought -- or rather the lack of simple research -- that makes my eyes roll with derision. G.A.'s pet peeve, with the example of Narsil, illustrates the "larger than life" characteristics of legend and myth. In addition to grossly tall people, there are structures that fall into the realm of exaggeration. The "immeasurably tall" Barad-dûr was probably less lofty than a modest skyscraper.  |
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Post by oshun on Oct 4, 2008 17:49:32 GMT -6
This whole discussion made me think of one of Jael's favorite writers, Mark Twain: Get your facts straight first. Then you can distort them anyway you want.
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Post by jael on Oct 5, 2008 12:21:28 GMT -6
Correct me if I'm wrong, but wouldn't an eight foot tall person have to be commensurately broad in the muscles to support all that mass?
I like tall people, since everyone in my family is, and I find it attractive. Hence, my favorite Grey-elven king is six foot six, and so is his son. But anything much over seven feet is stretching it.
I recall some behind the scenes stories from the movie about how the actors had trouble with the excessively long version of Anduril. It couldn't be worn in a scabbard, and Hugo weaving had to conceal it beneath his robes in an unnatural position for the dramatic unveiling.
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Post by Gandalfs apprentice on Oct 7, 2008 13:03:44 GMT -6
Oh, the weapons are bad enough. But just imagine a whole city built by eight-foot-tall Numenoreans (as in, Minas Tirith), and then inhabited by their puny descendants in later years.
I do think even I would have trouble with the stairs.
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Post by guest on Oct 18, 2008 15:29:48 GMT -6
But didn't it say somewhere that the tallest of all the Eldar was Thingol? I never heard that Penlod was...
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Post by Darth Fingon on Oct 18, 2008 22:31:35 GMT -6
But didn't it say somewhere that the tallest of all the Eldar was Thingol? I never heard that Penlod was... It likely says a bunch of things in a bunch of places, all contradictory. Penlod's claim comes from Lost Tales. |
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