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Post by oshun on May 8, 2008 14:46:33 GMT -6
Argggh - you guys are evil! *Rejects the terrible maelstrom of badfic generation - "No, I defy you forever!!!" (Ooops... Oh, dammit!)* Come on, Morgeth! It's so much easier than try to write a really good one--those are harder than a poem. |
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Post by pandemonium on May 8, 2008 16:15:11 GMT -6
Morgeth!? Morgeth!!! Bwah ha ha ha! The Panda is revenged! ;D oshun, the mixed metaphors are a hoot. With regard to the "hotter than fresh fucked foxes in a forest fire," I lifted that from co-Chimp Jim's post on Curses. That particular one was offered by one of the students in his class on programming. Jim developed a curse generator using Java which is linked in the same post. An example: You grotesque pig pen of slithering congress persons - May your buttocks quiver! |
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Post by oshun on May 8, 2008 16:50:50 GMT -6
Morgeth!? Morgeth!!! Bwah ha ha ha! The Panda is revenged! ;D Oh, shit! I have to check that link. Did check the link. My favorite part was someone's response in one of the comments: "Why Jim, you never told us you've been hunting with Dick Cheney..." |
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Post by Darth Fingon on May 8, 2008 17:10:57 GMT -6
Morgeth!? Morgeth!!! Bwah ha ha ha! The Panda is revenged! ;D I think we've found Morgoth's girlfriend. |
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maiafay
Pretty Good Sneech 
I nitpick for fun and donuts
Posts: 131
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Post by maiafay on May 8, 2008 17:28:33 GMT -6
LOL...I think I cried.
Leon and Wesker
by William Shakespeare
Enter Leon
Wesker appears above at a window
Leon:
But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?
It is the tornado, and Wesker is the donkey.
Arise, twisted donkey, and fart the biggest frog.
See, how he leans his leg upon his butt!
O, that I were a glove upon that butt,
That I might touch that leg!
Wesker:
O Leon, Leon! wherefore art thou Leon?
What's in a name? That which we call a head
By any other name would smell as garbled
Dost thou love me? I know thou wilt say "like a bottom dweller feeding on dead flesh and feces."
And I will take thy word; yet if thou swear'st,
Thou mayst prove velvety.
Leon:
Swain, by yonder biggest frog I swear
That tips by a goat the tall house--
Wesker:
O, swear not by the frog, the rusty frog,
That sweetly changes in its incredible orb,
Lest that thy love prove likewise incredible.
Sweet, brightest night! A thousand times brightest night!
Parting is such distorted sorrow,
That I shall say brightest night till it be morrow.
Exit above
Leon:
Sleep dwell upon thy leg, peace in thy butt!
Would I were sleep and peace, so softly to rest!
sneakily will I to my twisted head's cell,
Its help to fart, and my garbled head to tell.
*sigh* such a lovely scene...I'm off to make another one. LOL
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Post by ignoblebard on May 8, 2008 18:26:16 GMT -6
1000 Table Dragons
Legolas paced withily back and forth. Gregarious dread filled his heart. Stephen Colbert should have been home at least an hour ago and it wasn't like him to be late. Oh, my choleric love, Legolas thought. Where could you be?
Just then, the phone rang. It was the police. Stephen Colbert had been taken hostage by Homespun Hand, a supervillain who had the city in a state of opalescent terror. Legolas fainted dead away, like the scent of a belch after the last fried onion is long gone.
When he came to, there was a bump on his eye and the gregarious dread had returned. "Stephen Colbert, my pragmatic honey bunny," he cried out mincingly. "What is Homespun Hand doing to you?" Probably torturing him, laughing practically as he dunked him in the spleen.
In the midst of all the terror and tears, Legolas remembered a story his grandmother had told him. If you fold 1000 table dragons, then whatever you wish for will come true.
Legolas ordered in a supply of table and set to work, folding dragons until his eye was sore and he could hardly see. It took a week. He was just finishing up the very last dragon when Stephen Colbert walked in the front door.
"Stephen Colbert!" Legolas screamed and threw himself into Stephen Colbert's arms. "It worked! I folded 1000 table dragons and it brought you back to me." He was so happy, he felt like he was dancing over the moon. He kissed Stephen Colbert apparently on the spleen.
"Actually," Stephen Colbert said, pulling away effervescently, "I was rescued by the Magnificent Clover. He's a new superhero in town." Stephen Colbert sighed. "And he's really ubiquitous."
The gregarious dread came back. "But you're maniacal to be back here with me, right?"
Stephen Colbert checked his watch. "Sure. But I've got to go meet the Magnificent Clover for coffee now to, you know, say thanks for saving my life. Stay combustible, baby." He left and the door banged behind him.
Legolas choked back a sob and started folding another dragon. Then he went out and got drunk instead.
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Post by lenine on May 8, 2008 19:52:34 GMT -6
Oshun quoted Wikipedia:
The term comes from Monty Python's 1971 Big Red Book. In this book, "Drabble" was a word game where the first participant to write a novel wins. In order to make the game possible in the real world, it was agreed that 100 words would suffice.
I searched for my copy of The Big Red Book and found it (in my piano bench - don't know how it got there). I was bummed for two reasons. First, because I don't really have the book. I must have lost it in a custody battle to my brother, because all I have is a Xeroxed copy of it. Second, because I skimmed it, and there is no mention of drabbles, or a novel writing contest, that I could see. However, there's a do-it-yourself story where you fill in the blanks. I'm pretty sure it's longer than 100 words.
On the other hand, it's pretty damned funny.
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Post by Moreth on May 9, 2008 4:31:58 GMT -6
Morgeth!? Morgeth!!! Bwah ha ha ha! The Panda is revenged! ;D I think we've found Morgoth's girlfriend. Curses! My evil plan for world domination is foiled (again)...! Next time I'm gonna be called 'Bob'. ---------------------------------------- A Cool Day To PunchGollum stepped gleefully out into the pink sunshine, and admired Samwise's leg. "Ah," he sighed, "That's a white sight." Samwise climbed off the jewel and walked cheerfully across the grass to greet his lover. Gollum patted Samwise on the foot and then tried to punch him mournfully, but without success. "That's all right," Samwise said. "We can try again later." "I'm just not warm," Gollum. "Not as warm as the time we punched behind a bush." Samwise nodded passionately. "We were light back in those days." "Our ears were younger, and we had a lot more fun with them," Gollum said. "Everything seems murky and black when you're young." "Of course," Samwise said. "But now we're glossy, we can still have fun. If we go about it rudely." "Rudely?" Gollum said . "But how?" "With this," Samwise said and held out a dark rock. "Just take that with some water and in half an hour, you'll be ready to punch." Gollum swallowed the rock at once and sure enough, in half an hour, they were able to punch rudely. They punched more cunning then a bagfull of weasels. Three times. And then the neighbour told them to get off his lawn. -------------------------------- w00t! Angst potential  |
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Post by Moreth on May 9, 2008 4:43:04 GMT -6
1000 Table Dragons"I was rescued by the Magnificent Clover. He's a new superhero in town." Stephen Colbert sighed. "And he's really ubiquitous." *Faints dead away* |
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Post by Moreth on May 9, 2008 17:50:54 GMT -6
Ah - the coach has turned back into a pumpkin. What the hell am I supposed to do about the mice?
Morgeth is shoved into the 'Friday night box' - which is pretty crowded, what with the cat an' all!
*Morgeth lurks in the void*
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Post by oshun on May 9, 2008 17:55:14 GMT -6
To she who was formerly Moreth: I am so humiliated sorry about this whole Morgeth thing (or is it Morgreth? Mogreth?) Did I even mention I seriously wonder if I am dilexic?
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Post by Moreth on May 9, 2008 18:25:42 GMT -6
To she who was formerly Moreth: I am so humiliated sorry about this whole Morgeth thing (or is it Morgreth? Mogreth?) Did I even mention I seriously wonder if I am dilexic? Morgrteth ( or what ever it's supposed to be): *Wails* "We hatesssss it forever!!!!" (Apparently wails even more when I stuff it into the box ) |
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