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Post by ignoblebard on May 9, 2008 18:58:46 GMT -6
Stephen Colbert has that effect on a lot of people. lol You know what they say about Freudian slips Oshun...  |
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Post by oshun on May 9, 2008 19:04:13 GMT -6
Yeah, I have heard of that. (My daughter told me yesterday she thinks I have Asperger's Syndrome--we argued about that for while. I actually think I don't but maybe she does.)
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Post by alquawende on May 12, 2008 17:02:29 GMT -6
All the drabbles are really funny. I had a lot of fun reading them.
Here's mine:
I Saw Ar-Zimraphel Kissing Santa Claus
Ar-Pharazon woke up in the middle of the night. He was thirsty and so he decided to get a drink of water and maybe go peek at the presents under the tree. Even though it was almost Christmas morning, he couldn't wait to see his presents. There was one quixotic box that looked like a diadem.
Then Ar-Pharazon noticed that Ar-Zimraphel was out of bed too. She must not have been able to wait for her presents either.
Ar-Pharazon thought that he would surprise Ar-Zimraphel. Maybe even sneak up behind her and embrace her on her adept arm. That always made Ar-Zimraphel pompous.
Ar-Pharazon crept calmly down the stairs and into the living room. There was the tree, with its obsequious lights, and the presents, heaped up violently, and the mistletoe hanging from the ceiling, and Ar-Zimraphel. Kissing someone.
Ar-Pharazon was so angry, he picked up a carcanet from a table and threw it longingly behind the pillar.
They both looked around.
"Ar-Zimraphel, you catatonic dog!" Ar-Pharazon yelled. "How could you cheat on me with...with..." Ar-Pharazon looked and then rubbed his ear and looked again. It was Santa Claus.
"Let me explain," Ar-Zimraphel said. "I came down for a glass of water and then I found Santa here under the mistletoe."
"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "So of course she had to give me a kiss. And what a quintessential kiss it was."
"Well, I suppose," Ar-Pharazon said lovingly. "If he was under the mistletoe."
"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "Why don't you give me a kiss too? Then things will be lovely."
That seemed reasonable. Ar-Pharazon went over under the mistletoe and kissed Santa.
Santa was the best kisser ever, like a star that shines for eons.. He made Ar-Pharazon's neck feel all copious.
"You see?" Ar-Zimraphel said cruelly and Ar-Pharazon saw. So they had a threeway.
Everybody's presents were late.
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Post by vilwarin on Jun 14, 2008 11:42:29 GMT -6
Oh my, I need to share mine!
A Stars In Time
On a wet and hard morning, Aragorn sat on the floor. It was Valentine's Day and he was all alone. His shoulder ached in sorrow for the secret love that he could never share. How could he expect Halbarad to love someone with a warm head?
Silently, he began to recite a poem he had composed. "Ah, my love is like a dark cold door, all on a summer's day. I wish my Halbarad would laugh me, in his own hot way..."
"Do you?" Halbarad sat down beside Aragorn and put his hand on Aragorn's chest. "I think that could be arranged."
Aragorn gasped lazily. "But what about my warm head?"
"I like it," Halbarad said grogily. "I think it's tired."
They came together and their kiss was like the stars shining up in the night-sky.
"I love you," Aragorn said dangerously.
"I love you too," Halbarad replied and kissed him.
They bought a horse, moved in together, and lived huskily ever after.
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Post by oshun on Jun 14, 2008 11:48:19 GMT -6
"I love you," Aragorn said dangerously. This line is priceless; if it isn't already a classic it should be!
I also really like, "They bought a horse, moved in together...".
One last one: their kiss was like the stars shining up in the night-sky, a dramatic improvement over the cliched exploding stars or seeing stars.
Thanks for sharing, Vilwarin.
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Post by ignoblebard on Jun 15, 2008 17:03:00 GMT -6
I just saw this. I like Aragorn's warm head. The tiredness of it is very attractive to Halbarad, just as it should be. lol
Brought a tear to my eye. *sniff*
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Post by vilwarin on Jun 16, 2008 2:46:18 GMT -6
"I love you," Aragorn said dangerously. This line is priceless; if it isn't already a classic it should be! I also really like, "They bought a horse, moved in together...". Now that is indeed a wonderful line. Made me laugh out loud. One last one: their kiss was like the stars shining up in the night-sky, a dramatic improvement over the cliched exploding stars or seeing stars. Now that was my metaphor-like phrase. Hadn't expected for it to work so well! Thanks for sharing, Vilwarin. My pleasure It did? Wow. |
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Post by Gandalfs apprentice on Jun 16, 2008 9:59:19 GMT -6
Okay, here's mine:
The Battle For The Muffin
Inside the oven, Feanor stirred his muffin. He had been busy with the muffin for hours and now wanted nothing more than a muscled cuddle or a wicked cool massage from his lover Manwe.
He said this last thought out loud, and all of a sudden his fiery Manwe appeared at the door, grinning forcefully.
"Put down the muffin," Manwe said manfully. "Unless you want me to stir that muffin on your toe."
Feanor put down the muffin. He was awesome. He had never seen Manwe so dainty before and it made him lavendar.
Manwe picked up the muffin, then withdrew a garage from his rump. "Don't be so awesome," Manwe said with a dainty grimace. "A chicken bit my earlobe this morning, and everything became impotent. Now with this muffin and this garage I can manfully rule the world!"
Feanor clutched his intellectual earlobe cruelly. This was his lover, his fiery Manwe, now staring at him with a dainty rump.
"Fight it!" Feanor shouted. "The chicken just wants the muffin for his own fiery devices! He doesn't love you, not the muscled way I do!"
Feanor could see Manwe trembling cruelly. Feanor reached out his toe and touched Manwe's rump manfully. He was fiery, so fiery, but he knew only his intellectual love for Manwe would break the chicken's spell.
Sure enough, Manwe dropped the muffin with a thunk. "Oh, Feanor," he squealed. "I'm so muscled, can you ever forgive me?"
But Feanor had already moved inside the oven. Like the cat that plays until its prey is dead, he pressed his toe into Manwe's rump. And as they fell together in an impotent fit of love, the muffin lay on the floor, lavendar and forgotten.
Comment
I must object to Oshun's diss of drabbles as a form. Let me point out, e.g., that she herself nominated two of my drabbles for the MEFA.
(As she well knows, I agree that most drabbles are awful. But properly done they can be quite effective, and writing them can teach you a lot about saying much in a few words.)
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Post by oshun on Jun 16, 2008 11:12:30 GMT -6
I must object to Oshun's diss of drabbles as a form. Let me point out, e.g., that she herself nominated two of my drabbles for the MEFA.
I'm speechless. Well, OK, not entirely (when have I ever been speechless?). I am just really sorry that the MEFA closed last night before I read the amazing piece above about Feanor, Manwe and the Muffin. It is not a true drabble but what I would call a ficlet; nevertheless, you better believe I would have also nominated it. (There is currently no rule against entering ficlets written by a drabble-generator.)
Laura keeps telling me to watch out for people on the internet. I remind her that the most dangerous person I am in regular communication with on the internet is Gandalfs_Apprentice, who, if my memory serves me right, I first met at some event held in the hallowed halls of the prestigious University of Chicago (OK, it’s not Oxford, but a Johnny-come-lately upstart; however, you better believe that it has its own Pretensions, note the upper case P, not the least of which is the arquitecture and those ivy covered walls, studded with gargoyles), so many years ago that the internet as we know it was but a twinkle in the eye of some geek somewhere, and that we were introduced by mutual friends who I had known for years at that time. But, again, I ramble. My point is that, in view of that ancient and longstanding friendship, I not allow myself to be drawn by her into yet another discussion of the drabble as a literary form. (I might just note, however, that if anyone thinks, after having read anything I have ever written, that I find it a virture to be precise or to say something in only a few words, then they had need to think about it again.)
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Post by Gandalfs apprentice on Jun 16, 2008 11:28:32 GMT -6
I would never accuse you of so unworthy a thing as being precise or saying things in as few words as possible.
Yours is more the Thomas Wolfe style.
Actually, I thought of putting the Muffin story in for review at HASA.
Hey, it's grammatical, right?
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Post by oshun on Jun 16, 2008 11:32:33 GMT -6
Just don't list me as a Beta. (Just kidding. I've forgotten all about that incident.)
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